Defeated and depleted. Emotions can become a complete mess and a crazy rollercoaster when you are on the fertility journey. I remember as we started our fertility journey, I was strong, hopeful and felt like I could handle it all. After a few appointments, medications and disappointments later I quickly went to defeat and anger. I was so angry at everyone including God. I would ask in waves of anger and tears, why he was doing this to us. We were good people. We were loving people and I knew we would make great parents.
I witnessed people act as if they didn’t want their kids, I listened to a lot of people say that their kids were an inconvenience and saw some people even downright neglected them. I witnessed it all and it was so gut wrenching. I just didn’t understand.
There was no talking that was going to help me to logically understand why we were going through this. I honestly thought for a while that I had done something wrong and that God hated me for some reason. I just didn’t understand it. I came to realize that I didn’t need to understand, I needed to trust. I needed to feel the wave of emotions, ride the waves and let them pass. I didn’t know how to do that on my own so I used the best tool that I had. Essential oils were my saving grace.
I used lots of oils to help with the emotional wreckage that was slowly destroying me. Forgiveness was a big oil for me. I need to forgive God, forgive myself, friends and family. See, people didn’t know what to say or how to help us through this journey but they would still try and often times say the wrong thing in the process. I didn’t want to hear that I would get pregnant in God’s timing or that he had a plan. I didn’t give a shit about his plan to be honest. We were also told that if you would stop trying and concentrating on it so much, it would happen on its own. People were trying to help but their words cut like a knife. Forgiveness essential oil helped me to forgive everyone even though they didn’t intentionally do anything wrong.
I also used the oil Release. It helped to truly release the terrible emotions that were consuming me. I grew bitter and resentful quickly and I didn’t like who I was becoming. Release helped me to push through those emotions. Other oils that became a huge part of my daily routine were Joy, Believe and Acceptance. What a great combination these three were and extremely powerful.
Without these oils I think I would have really struggled emotionally. I still had times where I felt defeated but much less and for shorter durations if I stayed consistent with my routine.
Through our fertility journey we realized our purpose. We realized that we traveled this road so that we could help others. I am very grateful and feel so blessed that I am now able to help women all over the world.
I understand how you feel and I have been through it as well. Now let’s work together to help you with the emotional wreckage that this journey has left behind.